Carol Burnett

"When I was growing up in Hollywood, I thought you had to look like Betty Grable or Tony Curtis to get anywhere in show business. But I never worried about my looks too much. Some people said I looked like Tony Curtis."

Carol Burnett   comedian, actress, singer, dancer, writer

Joan Rivers

”I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes — and six months later you have to start all over again.”

  Joan Rivers comedian, TV personality

Maxine

“Vampires sleep all day, fly wherever they want for free, and can’t see themselves in a mirror. Where do I sign?”

Maxine

        that lovable crabby character